Part One in a Series...
When we learn that a friend is in need, our natural reaction is simple—we want to help. But sometimes, knowing how to help can be challenging. Whether your friend is a patient or a caregiver, small, thoughtful actions can make a big difference.
Here are some practical ways to offer support and show you care.
1. Don’t Say: “Let Me Know If You Need Anything.”
While well-intended, this phrase puts the burden on your friend to identify their needs and ask for help—which can be overwhelming when they are fatigued, stressed, or simply not thinking clearly. Instead, offer specific support or take action without waiting for them to ask.
2. Create a Thoughtful Goodie Basket or Bag
A simple care package can provide comfort and convenience. Here are some great items to include:
✔️ Kleenex (without lotion—it smears glasses and leaves a film)
✔️ Wet wipes for easy cleaning
✔️ Gum or hard candy for a quick refresh
✔️ Their favorite snack to brighten their day
✔️ A gift card to a local restaurant (with enough to cover a meal for the household)
✔️ Hand lotion & sanitizer for self-care
✔️ A puzzle book & pen to pass the time
3. Drop Off Your Care Package Thoughtfully
When delivering your goodie bag:
🔹 Let them know you’re just stopping by to show you’re thinking of them.
🔹 Only stay if invited in—they may not be up for company.
4. Help Set Boundaries with Visitors (For Close Friends)
Too many unexpected visitors can be overwhelming. Help your friend create a simple "visitor boundary system" with a door sign:
📌 “Feel free to stop by if the front curtains/blinds are open.”
📌 Place the note inside a plastic sleeve protector to keep it weatherproof.
These small steps can give them control over their space while avoiding the stress of unexpected guests.
Kristi Nance-Hmurovich MSW, LCSW, ACHP-SW is the Counseling Coordinator for Hospice of the Calumet Area. The opinions are the writer's.
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